


Cause Everything is Rent

by stars_will_fall



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, F/F, F/M, M/M, Rent AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 22:53:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13222932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars_will_fall/pseuds/stars_will_fall
Summary: The Rent Au that no one asked for.Lucretia starts a new journal- observations of her many friends, their relationships, and the unique troubles they face as starving artists in the New York area. However, she finds it is a little difficult to stay impartial in her writing when she shares in their hunger, cold, and pain on a day to day basis.





	Cause Everything is Rent

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the musical Rent (broadway version). If you know anything about Rent, you should know you're in for a world of pain with this one, so be warned. Questions, comments and Kudos are always appreciated. I hope you enjoy!

_24 December 1998. 9:00 p.m. EST_

_This is an unscripted, scientific journal based on my own observations. I will be studying a group of people I have known for many years now and would consider close friends if not family. Though different from my usual studies, I believe this journal will provide important insight into the different relationships experienced through life whether platonic, familial, or romantic and perhaps provide further explanation into what it means to be human._

_At this moment, Taako, my roommate and friend since high school, is in the kitchen. I can see him from my spot on the couch, fussing over a pan on the stove. I can only assume this is another attempt at grilled cheese. Nowadays, there are many attempts at grilled cheese. They smell like they’re burning. They’re always burnt by the end. No doubt we’ll be eating take-out tonight if anything at all. Merry Christmas to us._

“The stove is too damn hot,” Taako gripes, tossing another sandwich into the trash. “Lucy, you know the stove heats up too fast?”

Lucretia pauses in her writing to give him an apologetic smile. “So, you’ve told me.”

_I remember when Taako would cook us dinner whenever he could- back when we could afford the ingredients and he was a star. He made splendid meals, always perfect. Now, the food never makes it to a plate. After the sorrow he’s seen, I’m surprised he’s started cooking again at all. You can tell the passion is still there even if the talent seems to have diminished. He’ll get there again someday._

Lucretia catches herself mumbling she writes once again, not able to stop herself in enough time to go without Taako noticing. He now stands against the kitchen door, hips cocked to lean against it. A half-melted spatula rests in his right-hand dripping bits of grease and liquefied cheese onto the concrete floors. “You’re talking to yourself again.”

“My apologies. I hardly realize I’m doing it. Do you mind if I ask what you’re up to in there? Whatever it is, it smells burned.” 

Taako’s face falls just enough to notice and he adjusts his apron. It was a hot pink, made of a light but sturdy fabric. It looked like it was once a fairly expensive item, but now little holes dotted the front where he’d picked off the plastic jewels that once spelled out “Sizzle it up with Taako.” She’s been meaning to get him a new one forever now. “I’m- you know what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to-“

The phone rings loud and shrill. Taako raises a brow as if challenging it for interrupting him and waits for the answering machine. A gruff voice comes through the speaker after a moment. “In Pan’s name that thing beeps loudly. Taako? Lucretia? You there? Tomorrow is Christmas, you know. I know I already told you, but you’re more than welcome to join the kids and I for the festivities. I guess you probably won’t get this in time to pack up and make it all the way up here. At least you’ll have gotten our gift in the mail by now. I hope you like it. Pan’s word is precious so please don’t just leave it out to get ruined or thrown into the fire. Oh! And Lucretia, I hear Lup finally got with Barry and they’re getting pretty serious. Pretty neat, huh? You’ll have start looking outside the group for love.” Merle laughs, and Lucretia’s jaw hardens. She’s gotten plenty of shit about Lup from her friends already. They had a bit of a history, but the incessant teasing is incredibly unnecessary. “Bye you two! Merle Highchurch signing out.” 

Lucretia sighs. “So, back to what you were doing.”

“Grilled cheese, Lucretia. I’m trying to make grilled cheese.”

The phone rings again much to their disdain. However, when the answering machine sounds it’s a deep, cheerful, and altogether welcome voice. Magnus. “Hey, guys! I’m downstairs if you wanna let me up.” Taako picks up quickly.

“Hells yeah, homie. Lucretia will let you up in just a sec.”

“Actually, hold on. I think I might need a minute. Looks like trouble across the street. I’m gonna go check it out.” With that, the line goes dead and Taako rolls his eyes. Just like Magnus to go rushing into danger when it doesn’t even concern him. He puts the phone down only for it to ring again. Taako looks like he may snap it in half if he gets his hands on it, so Lucretia picks up instead.

“Hello Hello!”

“Oh, Brian. How…nice to hear from you.” Lucretia sends a forced smile in Taako’s direction, telling him all he needs to know. He responds by miming shooting himself in the head. She whispers sharply for him to behave. 

“What was that, dear?”

“Nothing. Just trying to help Taako with something. Is there something you needed or…?” 

“Yes. Yes, of course. I’m actually on my way to see you two now. I hoped to do some catching up and, well, some picking up.”

“Picking up?”

“The rent, darling. Its overdue. By a year I think.”

Lucretia’s eyes widen, and Taako moves closer to listen in. “Brian, you said you’d let us off the hook for last year when the building came into your ownership did you not? We weren’t prepared for this.”

“I know. I’m awfully sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry in the slightest. 

Taako snatches the phone. “Asshole, you can’t just go back on your word. I thought we were friends. You know we don’t have that money.”

“Taako!” Brian laughs, completely ignoring Taako’s unhappiness. “I heard your sister found a man. How nice. I suppose nothing ever came of Lucretia and her then?”

Lucretia pulls the phone back out of Takko’s hand with a glare, just catching the end of Brian’s goodbye. “-still going to need that rent or I’m going to need you to leave. Be there soon!” 

Lucretia sighs and sets the phone down. As if on cue, a pop sounds from somewhere above them and the building goes dark. “And now the powers out.”

“Oh no,” Taako draws, feigning upset, “looks like I can’t finish the grilled cheese after all. No more calls either.”

They light candles of every shape, size, and scent. Taako goes to his room, intent on painting his nails now that there’s nothing better to do. It should be interesting to see how he does using only moonlight. Lucretia picks her journal up once more. 

_Magnus has joined a fight in the parking lot across the way, Taako still can’t cook a whole meal, Brian intends to collect rent money we don’t have, and now above all things, the power has gone out. It’s the fifth time this month. If this doesn’t stop soon, I’m sure Taako will use the “Extreme Teen Bible” as kindling in the middle of our living room. Maybe he’ll burn the loft down. I don’t know if we could get that lucky. No publishers have been interested in my writings so far and, Taako lost his show almost a year ago now. I thought we could afford Goldcliff still if we downsized, but even with three people’s income we’re always behind on the bills. Our apartment is in a rougher part of town. Fights break out nightly and our front stoop may as well be a restroom. We hardly ever have power and when we do, we still can’t heat our rooms. Taako would complain about being cold when we had a house with a working heater. His whining is unbearable now._

Goldcliff was bigger than two misfit artists of course, and on this Christmas Eve, trouble seems to follow whoever it can. Down the street from Lucretia and Taako’s apartment, Barry Bluejeans, a short man with thinning hair and crooked glasses fusses into a payphone over his new girlfriend, Lup, as she worries about the technical side of her upcoming performance. She wants everything to be perfect, but like Taako, Lup is a performer and can’t be bothered to deal with all the specifics of what went on back stage. Barry is in no way a theater person, but he is willing to do just about anything to help Lup. Well, almost anything. When Lup threatens to call up Lucretia to help, he draws the line. As much as he likes her, Lucretia scares the ever-living shit out of him. How did she get so smart?

Magnus stumbles away from a parking lot, nose bleeding, body bruised, and clothes torn but grinning like an idiot. He feels like he could pass out any minute, sure, but he’d had a lot of fun and helped someone out in the process. If the person those punks had been after had a merry Christmas, then the fight was 100% worth it in his mind. Now, if he could just make his way across the street to his friends’ apartment that would be great…

Brian leans against an expensive looking car that certainly didn’t fit in in the neighborhood, checking his nails as he spoke to someone on the phone. “I know, darling, we just don’t see eye to eye anymore. They act like I’m a villain or something.”

Back inside, the phone rings one last time, a call from Lup begging Lucretia to help Barry out with the sound equipment and pyrotechnics. Lucretia can’t help but agree.

_It’s been so many years with this group, and while things have hardly changed, I can’t help but notice how different things are. I worry already I may have bitten off more I can chew with this project. Still, even if this comes down to nothing successful, it’s something important. Things have always been hard, and now more than ever they prove to be, but this is my life- our lives. The good, the bad, I lay everything out here for you._

_To close, in all of the chaos, there is one truth I have learned today._

_There’s no way we’re paying our rent._

**Author's Note:**

> Cast:  
> Lucretia as Mark Cohen  
> Taako Taaco as Roger Davis  
> Magnus Burnsides as Tom Collins  
> Julia Burnsides as Angel Dumott Schunard  
> Lup Taaco as Maureen Johnson  
> Barry Bluejeans as Joanne Jefferson  
> Kravitz as Mimi (idk about this one...)  
> Magic Brian as Benjamin Coffin III


End file.
